You're going to be fine in the end OP.
You are right where you are meant to be and all is happening just as it was always going to anyway.
Stop trying to control absolutely everything in your life, take a deep breath and just let go of your fear of losing something: you were never meant to have it forever anyway!
And you are meant to face troubles. Meant to spent some sleepless nights. Meant to lose some friends - Not all people get to have that though!
You suffer so much more as long as you tell yourself you aren't meant to suffer: the first step to transcending suffering is to accept it!
Also this:
https://youtu.be/rBpaUICxEhk>>3267084Cute as heck!