>>3821273>>3821274Hello anon.
I think there are many things that could be said, and many different ways this conversation could go. I'm probably not the best suited to give standard advice, so instead I'd like to touch on this:
>trying to figure out what being human is likeYou can think of the mind as being made out of different blocks, and each block has a general purpose. Not everyone is balanced towards the same block(s), which means that not everyone is experiencing reality as you experience it. This might be obvious, but I believe it's important to be reminded of this from time to time, both as a way to understand other people, but also as a way to relativize your own fears as being something subjective and not something that is objectively quantified (as in "I feel like an idiot therefore everyone believes I'm an idiot").
Keep in mind it always takes two elements for anything "to be". What I mean by this is that, even if someone thinks you're an idiot, this person has a reason on their own for thinking this, and in the end it's their own issue, it's their own complex. It doesn't have to invalidate you per se. An extreme example would be some physically active kid being mad at some smart kid, and vice versa. It think it's easy to see why they set each other off: they're polar opposite, and thus feed on each other's insecurities.
Lastly I would recommend to take notes. Whether typing, or writing, or scribling, ... in whatever way you wish. Write about your feelings or thoughts, ask yourself questions. It doesn't matter if it's abstract or weird, it's just for you to learn more about yourself.
See though, it's just my advice, and it might not suit you, and that's perfectly fine! You can discard them if it's not helpful.
Happy new year.
