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Been doing studies n shit, some I haven't posted, trying to move my brain around, it sucks that a lot of my art process is This. It sucks, I suck, everything sucks. No worse fate than being a retard. I'm tired of studying I just wanted to make a drawing, but I didn't even know what I wanted to draw, I have no reason to direct myself but I keep moving, keep "improving" but only a fraction of what I think I am. It's like, taking more steps backwards than I do forwards, but over time the amount of back steps i take reduces. Eventually, I will be going forward. Throws up in my mouth.