Been deep in study since my last drawing
Feel at great odds with my art, not the process itself but my skill, how i apply it, the lack of confidence i have in anything I draw. Went through my sketchbooks the other day, trying to understand how I got here, and it's very strange seeing non linear progress, getting better at some random thing and completely dropping all application of some other thing.
I don't know how to demonstrate style, I think my current style is not very confident, messy, etc. It's messy out of loss, not out of choice. I've tried experimenting, but I so deeply struggle with combining style and reality. At best it is my form of simplification, but also, all of this is a form of style. It's a big sliding scale and I don't know how to define either end, both are abstractions of reality.
It's very very frustrating, I like my art now, but the style I visualize in my head is
>>752122 but with better foundations.
My biggest problem when I had this style was that I didn't think of the picture, i thought of its representation, but I wasn't making abstract art. Going through my work, 2022 is the only time I made Ugly shit (Quote is not an example). Not cringey but fucking repulsive because I was trying to make an actualization out of an abstraction. None of this matters and I am speaking to myself but oh. Ohh. Hope 1 person understands.
