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Tips for getting away with automobile vandalism?

Anonymous Tue 30 Apr 2024 21:45:09 No.1994487 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>1994582 >>1994593 >>1994608 >>1995038 >>1995097 >>1995471 >>1995502 >>1995787 >>1999590 >>1999871 >>1999914 >>2000341 >>2000374 >>2001736 >>2001747 >>2001788 >>2001835

Hi /n/
I'm a bike commuter and i'm sick of dick head car brains shitting up the already shitty bike lanes
Whats the best way to ensure I don't get caught for slashing a tire, breaking a window, breaking a mirror, or all of the above?
Thanks

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Apr 2024 22:02:07 No.1994495 Report

Quoted By: >>1994499 >>2001736 >>2003376 >>2003506

1. Get therapy
2. Just ride your bike

You won't win against Big Cage if you pick a fight. The police will drop their donuts and hunt you down like Christopher Dorner if word gets out that there's some angry sperg breaking mirrors.

If you need medications to manage your anger, I'm pretty sure they make stuff for that. I find that just riding more fixes everything.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Apr 2024 22:05:35 No.1994499 Report

Quoted By: >>1994503 >>1994510 >>1995479

>>1994495
>1. Get therapy
No
2. Just ride your bike
I do and I love it but dick heads need some punishment every now and then, no? It's why their behavior never changes.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO sneckdown.jpg, 383KiB, 1200x900

Anonymous Tue 30 Apr 2024 22:14:12 No.1994503 Report

Quoted By: >>2003376 >>2003506

>>1994499
They're parking in the bike lane because they correctly see it as the most rational option when no unloading zones were made available, and everyone else is doing it. Breaking their mirror is not going to make them think, "oh, I guess I'd better not drop off my kids at school/the hospital/whatever, because I might force a cyclist to temporarily exit the bike lane". They probably won't even make the connection between their own actions and you breaking their mirror. Your existence simply never registered to them.

Urbanists love talking about "sneckdowns" right? Or how a well worn path through the grass means such-and-such. When a system of rules is put up that conflicts with rational behavior, the rules were not designed well, and you can ignore that fact at your own peril.

This is why you should oppose bike lanes. They do not make you safer. They make you less safe. You probably won't get it, but I tried.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 30 Apr 2024 22:28:14 No.1994510 Report

Quoted By: >>2003376

>>1994499
This is some retard thinking, when's the last time a car almost swerved into you and you thought "hmmm maybe I WAS acting like an asshole, I should change!"

No chance is even the softest granny gonna take vandalism from a fucking cyclist as a sign for change.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Apr 2024 22:31:53 No.1994512 Report

Quoted By:

just kick in their quarter panel and move on with your life. carrying rage like that is like having poison on an IV-fed drip line.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 01 May 2024 06:47:33 No.1994582 Report

Quoted By: >>1999591 >>2001736

>>1994487
Use the schrader removal tool, turn anticlockwise about quarter turn, you will waste cagers time to change tyre because they don't carry pumps.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 01 May 2024 08:47:49 No.1994589 Report

Quoted By:

magic rocks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 01 May 2024 09:14:00 No.1994593 Report

Quoted By: >>1995754 >>1999872 >>2001736 >>2003377

>>1994487
I've seen some videos of people slapping stickers with something like "nice parking on the bike lane!" on the car as they ride their bike. If you're really angry you could use some heavy adhesive like those Russian kids on youtube from a decade ago doing the same thing.
I don't condone this stuff, it's unproductive. We live in a free speech democracy in the information age the best return for your energy and anger is pacifist campaigning. Youll only get arrested if you fight a single cager, but you can have a great impact with a smart campaign. That video by casey neistat crashing on cars was golden.Those videos of sticker slapping usually attract comments of angry cagers and angrier bicyclists and the whole thing gets confrontational and unproductive.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 01 May 2024 09:40:40 No.1994596 Report

Quoted By:

Bolshevik paste a propaganda sign on the back window.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 01 May 2024 11:08:37 No.1994606 Report

Quoted By:

Kick cars while you ride next to them duh

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 01 May 2024 12:01:54 No.1994608 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
Just pull up behind the vehicle, lean against it with your hand propping yourself up on the vehicle, and start loudly drumming your fingers until they move.
I guarantee this will send the average driver into a blind rage, but is probably legal in most jurisdictions. Won't send your blood pressure spiking either, since you're taking a breather.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 01 May 2024 12:17:22 No.1994610 Report

Quoted By: >>1999872 >>2001736

love punching the shit out of side mirrors
also modern plastic front bumpers are fun to kick

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 04 May 2024 13:14:59 No.1995038 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
Be black

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 05 May 2024 00:10:26 No.1995097 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
I just lift up their wipers to let them know in a nice way that they're being assholes.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 May 2024 05:20:48 No.1995471 Report

Quoted By: >>1999872

>>1994487
If they are in the car, give it a hearty slap on rear quarter panel. They'll hear it reverbate and think they got hit, mist will go check.
If they are not, print some silly stickers like "my car is a bicycle" and slap them on rear driver side window. Small, unintrusive, but noticable when they reach for the door handle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 May 2024 06:25:42 No.1995479 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994499
>I do and I love it but dick heads need some punishment every now and then, no?
Not by whatever you have in mind.

>It's why their behavior never changes.
No. It's because you live around dickheads. Though experiment. Take those dickheads and stick them in the train, or on the sidewalk. They're STILL dickheads.

You can't vandalize your way into becoming Japan or the Netherlands.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 May 2024 10:22:57 No.1995502 Report

Quoted By: >>1999872

>>1994487
get motorcycle glovees and punch mirrors
thats what the carbon knuckles are for

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 08 May 2024 11:10:10 No.1995754 Report

Quoted By: >>1996009 >>1999872

>>1994593
yea, mindless vandalism is just counterproductive

picking a fight with a 2 ton piece of machinery is fucking retarded. even if you don't get caught by the police for vandalizing stationary vehicles some vigilante justice idiot is probably going to catch on at some point, especially if you are clearly the angry moron they see riding around all the time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 08 May 2024 13:27:33 No.1995787 Report

Quoted By: >>1999872

>>1994487
This will not improve society or make people better drivers.
At most you'll just become a boogeyman in these people's heads as a representative phantom of why they should never change anything.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 09 May 2024 16:56:28 No.1996009 Report

Quoted By:

>>1995754
No, the worst thing is messing with an urban gentleman's vehicle. Depending on what you do and the neighborhood you're in you'll be at best be branded a racist or worst, pic related (except that's your head).

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 26 May 2024 15:19:49 No.1999590 Report

Quoted By: >>1999872

>>1994487
scrape handlebar end down their side and ride off
proly a bad idea desu if you get caught the cagies will beat you to death like monkies for scratching their death tanks
dont forget to scrape their lights and find something ceramic for scraping the windows too

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 26 May 2024 15:21:16 No.1999591 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994582
this is based
they wont even know whats wrong or that its someones fault

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 28 May 2024 02:06:56 No.1999871 Report

Quoted By: >>2000254

>>1994487
good way to get yourself run over, not to mention increase aggressiveness towards all your fellow cyclists. not worth it. i've only slashed tires of people who have specifically targeted me maliciously while driving--yelling, throwing things, swerving into the bike lane on purpose. and now that i have a wife and kid i wouldn't do that anymore either cause my family will be pretty sad if i get pancaked by a raging motorist.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 28 May 2024 02:10:03 No.1999872 Report

Quoted By: >>2000161

>>1994593
>>1994610
>>1995471
>>1995502
>>1995754
>>1995787
>>1999590
seriously you guys, you're gonna get us all run over. please don't. the fact that cyclist hate is unjustified doesn't make it go away, and giving them any additional reason to hate us more is only making it less safe for all cyclists. not all of us have a death wish.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 28 May 2024 06:28:20 No.1999914 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
Don't get caught on camera
and if you are on camera then make sure your face is covered

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 29 May 2024 03:26:00 No.2000161 Report

Quoted By: >>2000464

>>1999872
dont do that then

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 29 May 2024 07:17:16 No.2000254 Report

Quoted By:

>>1999871
if all murdercages are disabled no cager is going to run anyone over.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 29 May 2024 16:33:14 No.2000341 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
>wear all black
>cover your face
>leave your phone at home
>cary spark plug bits with your and fling them at car windows as you ride by

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 29 May 2024 19:42:33 No.2000374 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
Do it. I'm tired of the fags here acting like the cyclists deserve more from the city. I'm all for cyclist agent pervocutures.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 30 May 2024 03:37:46 No.2000464 Report

Quoted By:

>>2000161
the point is that the actions of other cyclists are putting me and other unrelated cyclists at risk. have some consideration for your fellows. it's not asking that much.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 01 Jun 2024 18:20:58 No.2000921 Report

Quoted By:

contact city administration and tell them to either add more parking spaces or put those thick metal rods in the way so cars can't get through

BaconRider !yuA7eZE8l2

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BaconRider !yuA7eZE8l2 Wed 05 Jun 2024 01:27:29 No.2001537 Report

Quoted By: >>2001547

10mm,,,deafrening.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 05 Jun 2024 02:46:38 No.2001547 Report

Quoted By:

>>2001537
Nice handlebar mitts

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 06 Jun 2024 06:05:31 No.2001736 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994582
Very clever!!
>>1994593
I have tried the sticker trick when I had stickers and I've never gotten caught.
>>1994610
Based if true

>>1994495
kys

>>1994487
Here's what I typically do, although, for the record, I'm a skateboard chad. I just key their car. I've done it a handful of times and never been caught (I've also scratched a few cars with my own car and didn't leave a note lmao). It's almost impossible to get caught if you're patient, and most people will be too scared/complacent to actually say anything, even in broad daylight.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 06 Jun 2024 09:49:07 No.2001747 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
most cagies are miserable and stressed out. they you're smarter than then and hate you

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 06 Jun 2024 15:22:38 No.2001788 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
If the bike lane isn't safe because it's full of bullshit, merge into the traffic lane because you're piloting a vehicle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 06 Jun 2024 19:30:59 No.2001835 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994487
Jelly packets, you can carry like 8-10 of them in a Jersey pocket that you can reach while riding. The deniability is in that you can use them as nutrition, but it’s effectively a giant luge that you can throw further and much more accurately. When it dries it’s like glue, and if you get it on a windshield of a moving car the wipers will just spread it around so the person has to stop or pull over to get it off, which gives you an opportunity to confront them with your grievance if you want.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 14 Jun 2024 20:05:45 No.2003376 Report

Quoted By: >>2003506

>>1994495
FPWP
>>1994510
>>1994503
Fuck off cagers

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 14 Jun 2024 20:07:02 No.2003377 Report

Quoted By:

>>1994593
>pacifism

LMAO. You're not only a coward, but also a retard.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 15 Jun 2024 15:27:29 No.2003505 Report

Quoted By:

maybe like this:
>be syrian
>migrate and get neet bux
>but also work as delivery cager
>be dissatisfied with the overall situation
>smash the cages of your fellow cagies
https://exxpress.at/245-autoscheiben-zertruemmert-syrer-enthaftet-und-gleich-wieder-erwischt/
>cagers be caging.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 15 Jun 2024 15:30:43 No.2003506 Report

Quoted By:

>>2003376
I'm both >>1994503 and >>1994495 though?

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