>be innawoods just chilling near a trail
>hear a distance muffled sound that gets louder
>*pftzzztswishzzztswishzzztswishpftzzzt*
>"W...T...F is that?"
>*PFTZZZTSWISHZZZTSWISHZZZTSWISHPFTZZZT!*
>suddenly a guy wearing one of these starts walking past
>*PFTZZZTSWISHZZZTSWISHZZZTSWISHPFTZZZT!* Oh hi! Good crisp weather for a walk!
>*pftzzztswishzzztswishzzztswishpftzzzt* sounds out in the distance as he leaves

Seriously, how the hell can people wear these and not feel like a total moron? They are loud as all fuck with that weird swishing sound and look like someone who came from a Michelin Tire event.

Don't companies make any down clothing that doesn't have that shitty synthetic shell?