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Some old pasta.
The best way to kill a bear is with your dick.
It's not the easiest way, or the most efficient way.
It's not really the most practical way, or even the most successful way.
Using your dick to kill a bear is however the best way.
Statistically you have a very low chance of killing a bear with your dick.
I'm going to say most others who have tried have a less than 1% success rate.
It's possible, but you really have to be committed.
Ask my friend Greg about it.
Back in 2001 Greg was walking through Glacier National Park.
It was a cool fall day, and Greg was thinking about the time in high school he fingerbanged Amanda Smurkowski
in the back seat of his 1997 Grand Am.
Naturally he had a raging boner just thinking about it.
He rounds a corner and there's a Grizzly, about 10 yards away.
He stop, raises his arms and makes some noise, like you're supposed to.
The grizzly takes one look at him, notices his dick is pitching a pretty impressive tent, and immediately charges.
Little did Greg know grizzly bears are not supposed to be looked at in the eye while you have a hard on.
Greg has seconds to react, fortunately since it's 2001, those Adidas tear away pants are still in style.
He rips off the pants so now his man meat is out, ready for the attack.
Just as the bear reaches him, he lunges at the bear dick first.
One thing you have to remember about ole Amanda Smurkowski
is she was captain of the cheerleaders squad with a body as tight as an 8 year old Amish girl.
So Greg's dick was not just hard, it was maybe just hard enough to take down a grizzly.
Greg took this chance.
As the bear lowered it's head, and Greg pounced cock first, his wedding vegetable struck the bear right in the eye,
and with one good sausage push penetrated into the bears skull, hitting the brain, and killing the grizzly instantly.
Greg skull fucked a bear to death essentially. The group of children that watched were terrified, yet relieved.
