Cats
>They do nothing useful except being mollycoddled by spineless pussies who never got laid once in their own pathetic life.
Most cat lovers like to think that cats are really smart because they're douchebags, so they apply the Dr. House logic: if it acts like a dick it MUST BE because it's really smart, right? Well, no. Some creatures are like selfish stupid animals because that's all they are. Sadly, cat lovers follow this line of thoughts: douchebaggery = intelligence; loyalty = stupidity. That's why they say cats are intelligent and dogs are stupid.
If lack of trainability or "independence" is an indicator of intelligence, does that make amoebas intelligent? If you think cats are cute, fine. Funny? Maybe. But it's absurd to say cats are smarter or even on par with dogs.
There's one reason why blind people have guide dogs and not guide cats. Dogs can understand complex set of rules, and follow them just like a human. Cats can't do that, but the cat lovers say: "is not that they can't... They just don't want to do it because they're too awesome! derp!!". Enjoy being a walking food dispenser. Its all you'll ever be to a cat.
