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Dave Meltzer is gonna have a brutal and sad death. With no wife to keep his hoarding in check, he's gonna pile up useless wrestling documents all over his house. He's going to eventually trip over a stack of papers about Joshi match ratings and break something. He won't be able to get up. He will try screaming but no one will hear him. He will have more trash fall on top of him and burry him alive. It will be dark and crammed. He may die of a heart attack right there.
He will be terrified at first, then go into denial about the situation. He won't accept what's going on and think things will be ok. Hours will pass and he will start feeling angry. Angry that his ex left him, angry that no one is there to help him. Angry at Bix for betraying him. Angry at AEW for not being able to grow.
He will start trying to bargain with God. He will pray and offer God 3 months free of the observer, and will stop there because he's a Jew. He will try using his Jew trickery to try to guilt trip God into saving him. But it won't work.
The dire situation will sit in, he will become depressed. He's probably released his bowels at this point. He will be covered in shit, piss, and blood. He will cry, both in sadness and in pain. Only to hear nothing. Only to feel the coldness of the floor and deaths approach.
He will eventually accept death, as it's shadows looks over. He will ask "is this the end?". Only for death to grab his soul, and say "you tell me". He will arrive at the pearly gates of heaven. Saint Peter will be there, look over his documents. Saint Peter will say "I was gonna let you into heaven...but plans changed" and cast Meltzer down into hell for all of eternity.
