/pw/ - Professional Wrestling

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:17:15 No.7264378 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>7264385 >>7264512 >>7265344 >>7265447

>be me, Generic Derek
>be wrestling Dynamic Dylan at the Sportatorium
>solid midcard spot
>18 minutes into our no-holes barred match
>set up on the top rope for my shooting star press heart-punch
>that no good Dylan rolls away at the last second
>heart-punch myself in the nose

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:18:11 No.7264385 Report

Quoted By: >>7264427

>>7264378
you won me over with that last line brother. i'd book you anytime.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:26:02 No.7264427 Report

Quoted By: >>7265344

>>7264385
last time i got booked by an unknown booker man, it was a disaster
>Dynamic Dylan and myself
>booked to main event ppv in some sort of stipulation match
>match is a Judy Bagwell hanging from a scissor lift coal-miner's glove first-blood deathmatch
>first to 5 pinfalls wins the stupid indie-fed hotdog/handshake belt
>for every pinfall, judy has to eat an entire sleeve of saltine crackers
>get the coal-miners glove
>set up for a diving superman punch
>that dastardly dylan doges at the last second and i punch judy bagwell square in the forehead
>she starts choking on her 4th sleeve of saltine crackers
>harness breaks and she falls on top of me, bleeding and choking
>judy goes over with the 5th pinfall
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:28:18 No.7264446 Report

Quoted By: >>7264517

How have I never heard Generic Derek before kek

Average Andy

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Average Andy Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:35:28 No.7264512 Report

Quoted By: >>7264551

>>7264378
Wanna team up?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:35:58 No.7264517 Report

Quoted By:

>>7264446
Me and Dynamic Dylan have been around the horn countless times. We started as a tag team to try and goad that cowardly Danny Danger back into the ring. He retired before he gave us what we rightfully deserved (A 1 hour deathmatch at SpaghettiSlam ppv). Danny Danger is a COWARD. After we split up as a tag team (bad blood between us) we went our separate ways. Dylan went to japan but got banned from every federation because he wouldn't stop intentionally dropping people on their necks before the match started. I went through a pretty rough period and couldn't find my footing in a gimmick. I was Disco Derek, Derek Doom, Derek Dindu, etc. Got pretty bad on somas, vicodin and halcions and whatnot. The VicoDerek days really took their toll on me. I fully believe now that I was trying to end my career AND my life in the ring. I was just taking foolish risks. Shooting Star-Press Heart Punches, Suicide Tope Sharpshooters, Diving Legbutt, 540 Irish Whips. It was a really dark time.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:38:43 No.7264551 Report

Quoted By:

>>7264512
i'll consider it if you go on twitter and tell Danny Danger what a no-dimes shitter he is. Tell him he OWES us our deathmatch
https://twitter.com/dannydangerpro?lang=en
attach this pic. he'll know who it's from

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 02:46:53 No.7264623 Report

Quoted By: >>7265344

>be me, Generic Derek
>wrestling Dynamic Dylan in a submission match
>Dylan gets me in a figure 4
>try to roll over to reverse the pressure, but the pain is too much
>start bleeding from the forehead
>submit.webm
>backstage the bookerman is LIVID
>says it's a PG program and they don't allow gig-jobs
>tell him it was hard way
>bookerman fines me $1000
>mfw i only made $800 for the match

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:01:59 No.7265179 Report

Quoted By: >>7265344

>be me, Generic Derek
>wrestling Undead Mitch in a texas bullrope casket match
>cut off mitch's momentum by putting his leg in the lid of the casket and frog splashing the lid
>about to seal the deal when Legal Paul jumps out of the other casket and serves me a subpoena
>fucking bitch of an ex-wife goes over

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:12:18 No.7265237 Report

Quoted By: >>7265344

>be me, Generic Derek
>headlining SpaghettiSlam 3 against Dynamic Dylan
>each of us have a plate of cooked pasta noodles in our corner
>you win the match by making your opponent bleed into his pasta enough to cover the noodles completely
>i've got dylan in a bad way, his noodles are almost half covered
>put him in a camel clutch over his plate to allow the blood to drip
>fucking mark-ass dylan starts spitting on the pasta to dilute the blood
>ref doesn't see. absolute bullshit heel tactics by dylan
>now i'm shoot mad
>pick dylan up
>give him a running burning hammer into the bottom turnbuckle
>starts gushing blood into MY bowl
>pasta completely covered
>ref sees my noodles covered in blood and shouts PASTAMANIA
>match is over
>Dylan gets his hands raised
>ref tried (and succeeded) to fuck on me

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:31:04 No.7265344 Report

Quoted By:

>>7264378
>>7264427
>>7264623
>>7265179
>>7265237
dimes

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:37:03 No.7265388 Report

Quoted By: >>7265427

>be me, generic derek
>expect to be a huge superstar,
>not only can I not make it in the big leagues but not even my home territory will book me
>attempt to improve by getting stretched in stu harts dungeon
>miraculously get booked in a tag team with the Iceman who revitalized my career
>win a couple tag belts, get called up to the fed with promises that we're getting the rocket strapped to our backs
>Iceman starts to feel like I'm holding him back, he can't have 5 star matches with me
>upper management gets in Icemans ear
>i've got a bad look, don't work stiff enough, not getting the desired crowd reaction, dressing in my own lockerroom
>Iceman gets the singles push, I retire effective immediately
>hate wrestling, hate everything
>about a year later after several rumours about a possible return to my Iceman BROTHER, I decide to pick up a wrestling magazine
>turn to page 4
>Iceman has not only formed a tag team with someone from my local territory but they were creating a stable
I left my boots in the ring

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:43:19 No.7265427 Report

Quoted By:

>>7265388
Generic Derek would never attach himself to a shitter like iceman.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:43:47 No.7265431 Report

Quoted By: >>7265472

>be me, Fantastic Freddie
>when Generic Derek is killing himself in the ring trying to get over, I'm in the basement of the Sportaorium doing coke with Kerry

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:46:18 No.7265447 Report

Quoted By:

>>7264378
Generic Derek is definitely dimes

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:48:38 No.7265458 Report

Quoted By:

FIGHT FOREVER
*clap clap clapclapclap*

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 16 Sep 2022 04:51:43 No.7265472 Report

Quoted By:

>>7265431
FANTASTIC FREDDIE YOU STILL OWE ME THIRTEEN DOLLARS FOR HEADLINING CLASH AT THE BASH, YOU NO-GOOD PIECE OF TRASH
>be me, Generic Derek
>back in the glory days
>me and Dynamic Dylan were an unstoppable tag team
>already had the tag championships
>already ran through every tag team in an 80 mile radius
>we talk, decide we deserve a bigger push
>ask bookerman Fantastic Freddie if we can contend for the heavyweight title as a tag team
>Freddy says that's not even possible
>we show him our drawn out schedule of who gets to keep the belt on which days of the week
>his allergies seemed really bad that day, kept sniffing and biting his cheek
>he finally agrees, says he'll need to keep all the gate money for a belt contendership deposit fee.
>never heard of a belt contendership deposit fee, but i guess you've gotta lose money to make money in this business

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