>>5974812You find little comfort in the rickety bed you lie on. Not in its soft sheets or in its fluffy pillows. Not when your unnamed stiletto rests in your hand. Its cold metal seeps the warms from your hand, from your heart- like- like, oh Goddess it’s so hard to think of an apt metaphor for how awful you feel. A part of you wishes you had the willpower to go outside for a walk to clear your head, to stay up and distract yourself searching for the inquisitor’s secrets, Earth even going to sleep. But you simply can’t and you don’t know why!
Why?!
Why you? What did you do to be so cursed? Why can’t you just get over yourself?! You're a princess! The third in line to the throne and you’re here like- like some pathetic broken-hearted school girl! Princess’ don’t cry, they’re strong, you’re strong! So why is it that whenever your finger hesitantly traces the blade of the dagger a sob threatens to break from your throat?!
Why did Albrecht have to give you this damned dagger in the first place!? Did he even know what it would do to you? You the young child with a crush on the aloof and brooding foreign prince. The foreign prince you were just told you were going to marry someday! You were so happy! The world seemed like sunshine and Goddess damned rainbows back then! You revolved your entire world around Albrecht, you learned how to use his dagger, you learned to master all types of weapons from his kingdom and beyond! You even immersed yourself in the horrible complexities of magic after learning about how he fancied it! No matter how much it made your head hurt trying to understand it all!
How many sleepless nights did you spend breaking yourself into the best woman you could be? When you didn’t even need to! You’d never even be your kingdom's heir, your fate was to be sent to a foreign court and that was fine with you, perfect even. You’d be living the life of the protagonist of one of your romance novels after all. You were perfect, you would accept nothing less for fear of falling under his expectations. And yet you did anyway. You were the president of the student council, the best mage-knight the academy had seen in years. You even used your position to try and set up as many romantic scenarios as you could, yet all of them would end the same way. Albrecht wouldn’t spend the school dances with you, he wouldn’t train with you, and he wouldn’t have even talked with you if it wasn’t for the arrangements of the betrothal. He’d do all of that with Lyndale, and more. You never got a romantic kiss under the full moon at the academy's grand ball, but Anastasia did!
All you got to do was stand and alone and watch. You didn’t even get a compliment from him on your expensive dress, he didn’t even notice the dagger he gifted strapped to your side.