>>5746335 >>[[[The Cahill Report: Poker Edition]]]<<
“We have the results, ladies and gentlemen. We’re back with Uwikar ‘The Hurricane’ Cahill, and I’m in danger.” The Hostage welcomes the imaginary audience to the segment.
“Hello, danger! It’s me, Uwikar! It’s nice to be with you one final time!” Uwikar chuckles at his dad joke.
“Haha! Good one! I hope it’s not my final time…” Rooke’s Hostage clears his throat. “How did things end with Group A?”
“It was a long-drawn out battle, but Gerard Luther earned the top position against all odds! Things ended between him and Roger Jackson, but the terrorism is always a little too much for the police force!” Uwikar announces the results.
“I hope things don’t end like that for me! Or for a while at least! Group B was decided in the last report, so let’s move on to Group C!” The Host-age wants to bring the news as efficiently as possible.
“The most competitive group of the entire night, and it went out with a bang! He saw himself at the bottom at the very start, but Victorious Calamity does good to his name and snatches victory at the very end. What an incredible effort!” Uwikar acts all excited. “This is what this sport is all about! If you ignore that Robert Conti tried to cheat, but he was caught and humiliated!”
“Too late for me to not be caught, haha! Now Group D! The leading man plummeted out of the competition, but how did the rest do?” The Host-Age asks out loud.
“In a beautiful show of sportsmanship. The last two gladiators, evenly matched, went all-in with the last hand! And Boom! Dr. Imminenté Calamity took the group! But relinquished his spot to his rival, Gonzalo Gonzales for the finals.” Uwikar explains how hype it was. “In his words, the good doctor felt like he lucked out and wanted the best player of the two in the final round! A deep friendship formed in front of our eyes! So here we go!”
“Makes one emotional, doesn’t it? Actual camaraderie, I wonder how it feels.” Host-age feels personally hollow but professionally fulfilled! “With that, we have all four finalists!”
“Indeed: Gerard Luther, Johnny Ando, Victorious Calamity, and Gonzalo Gonzales will face each other in the decider for the Bradford Memorial Poker Tournament!” Uwikar claps.
