>>5987399Your grip on the steering wheel tightens as you consider the road ahead of you, both literally and figuratively. Beside you, Skyler sits in the passenger seat, her gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. You can only imagine what she might be thinking. In the backseat, Walter Jr. sits quietly with his eyes on you; even as scared as he might be, he remains your strong boy. You couldn't be prouder. As you drive in silence, you struggle to find the right words to break the tension in the car. Finally, you clear your throat.
"I know this isn't easy," you begin. "But we need to talk about what comes next." Skyler turns to look at you. At first, her expression is one of shock, shock that you would actually want to talk about what everyone had heard only a few minutes ago. Her lips curl upwards into a sad smile.
"Right. You're right, Walt. What comes next... is treatment, right?" Her voice is shaky. You take a deep breath.
"Dr. Belknap told us the cancer is advanced," you say. "And the treatments... they might not... be enough."
There's a heavy silence in the car as your words sink in. Skyler's hand finds yours, her grip tight with emotion as she struggles to process the enormity of what you're saying.
"But... you're still going to give it a shot, right?" Skyler finally asks, her voice trembling. "Right, Walt?" You meet her gaze. She's tearing up. God, you can't bear to see her cry. Walter Jr. sits in stunned silence.
...
<span class="mu-i">Do</span> you give it a shot? Should you pursue treatment for your lung cancer? You think about your bills, your mortgage payments. Your teacher's insurance is shit. It won't cover cancer treatment. But it's not just the money. You wish it was. You consider the possibility that the treatment might not even work. Probably won't even work, according to Dr. Belknap. What if all the chemotherapy and radiation therapy only prolong your suffering without offering any real hope of recovery? You imagine the pain, the nausea, the exhaustion that would accompany each round of treatment, all for naught. Not to mention, the hair loss...
And then there's the toll it would take on your family. Skyler, Junior, your daughter on the way... how would they cope with seeing you suffer? The thought of putting them through such agony fills you with a deep sense of guilt and despair. And then if you don't make it? You can't bear the idea of burdening them with your illness, both emotionally and financially. Maybe you should just... let it take you. It's not the worst thing in the world. You'll be surrounded by your family and your loved ones. You wouldn't burden them too much if you just—
<span class="mu-i">It's the coward's way out.</span> You remember Hank's words. <span class="mu-i">Promise me this: Promise me you won't face this alone. You've got Skyler, Junior, and me and Marie. We're all a team, remember? A family.</span>
...thanks, Hank. <span class="mu-i">Anytime.</span>
