>>5901397>>5901402>>5901417>>5901524>>5902001>>5902364>>5902488>>5902737>>5907224(Okay. Let's hope that never happens again.)
The man with the plan smiles, showing off his golden teeth which totally were not there the last time and won't be there the next time. They have letters and symbols engraved on them too so the front 8 teeth read "P!MP $HIT". Very classy, wouldn't you agree? (You don't.) "So have ya ever watched that one movie? The one where the mouse teaches this fatass chinese winn*e poo* ass lazy ass good-for-nuthin' piece of shit obese bear how to learn the mystery of chessboxin' or some shit? Iunno I was stoned out of my mind on my own product but I did catch that. And that's exactly what we're doin'."
"...Are you calling me fat?"
"Yes." He replies instantly. Well he was never known for not being nice huh. "Now, gonna be real 'ere. I dunno shit about whoever the next killer is, so I'm on the dark here, but it sounds like yer' doubting yo' skills, so we're doin' a generic trainin' montage set to some vaguely kung-fu music! With snap cuts!" Yeah you're not getting out of this one.
Thankfully training montages are much easier than real training, you lift weights for 2 seconds, run for 3, punch the air a couple times (it puts up no resistance!), make a bunch of poses, kick the air (it does not feel pain!), and finally aim your weapon at various nothings. You don't feel any stronger, but maybe a little more confident. And you have gained a <span class="mu-s">new move</span> to attack enemies behind you. So it was worth it to be a lazy ass in the end. Let that be the lesson today.
But it is soon time to continue your quest... You breath in, and ask: "So, do you know anything about a thing called the Death Dri-" Before you can finish, a chill runs down his spine and he quickly covers your mouth.
<span class="mu-s"><span class="mu-i">"DO NOT BRING THE NAME OF THE CURSED ARTIFACT INTO MY CRIB!"</span></span>
Oh so he does know. "Well then I won't fucking say it, but I need to know about it." Well yeah, how do you plan to go further with it then? He turns away to add drama to the scene. "That thing... A cancelled game console... A myth, lost to time... But none understand. Nah. It's true nature's much more sinister... What most people know's just the cover, the surface..."
"I'd tell ya more, mouse... But it might accelerate my contractually obligated mentor character death. Riskin' my goddamn neck tellin' ya just this! I say leave it! Forget 'bout it!"
Well... Can you afford to do that?
>Gotta keep pressing for info on this.>He might be right, this sounds fucked. 