Quoted By:
So this is how it ends, you think to yourself as you continue to laugh despite your sore ribs, killed by an Australian wearing the loudest shirt you’ve ever seen at the bottom of an abandoned mine…
You didn’t even get any of those rewards the girls promised you… figures!
As you ponder your bad luck, the tunnel Smythe and his gun-totin’ entourage entered from grows dark from the shadow of something <span class="mu-s">BIG</span> approaching! Holding the <span class="mu-s">SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN</span> close to your aching chest, you feel uncharacteristic optimism growing inside of you as the mysterious object approaches!
“<span class="mu-i">OPEN FIRE!</span>”
Well, there goes <span class="mu-i">that</span> plan. Lighting up the tunnel with a hail of bullets, Smythe’s Security Squad unloads into the shadow’s owner with military precision!
“Tough luck, mate…” Tsks the Security Chief before giving his team a sharp whistle, “But nobody sneaks up on Uncle Reggie!”
Apparently not… but as the gunfire stops and you and your pals unplug your ears, everyone in the room goes quiet when the light finally shines on the aforementioned object!
It appears to be a statue, that much is clear… a statue of a jerk you’re all too familiar with: one with a penchant for wearing a snakeskin jacket and ambushing you when you least expect it!
“What in the hell is <span class="mu-i">that</span> supposed to be?” Mutters Smythe as he and his squad examine the sculpture in closer detail!
Riddled with more holes than Swiss Cheese, the faint layer of white powder drifting through the air and the faint smell of cooked bread tells you all you need to know about who made the affront to nature, and the muffled hissing sound within gives you a pretty good idea of what to do next!
<span class="mu-i">Guys</span>, you hiss under your breath, <span class="mu-i">Get ready to MOVE!</span>
>ROLL ME 1d100+2 (+5 SPEED BONUS, +2 DISTRACTION, -5 CAN’T FOOL SMYTHE) TO BRACE YOURSELF! BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
