Quoted By:
Alright, you lied a bit about that ‘<span class="mu-i">focusing on the computer</span>’ part. Securing one of the gaudy red <span class="mu-s">PARTY HATS</span> to your head by the shitty elastic string attached to it that’s totally gonna snap and hit you in the eye, you rejoin your comrades at the computer looking fresher than a pizza right outta’ the oven!
“You’re pokin’ my face, red…” Whines Rodney as he struggles to defeat the pompom poking him in the cheek. <span class="mu-s">YOU’RE TRYING TO READ! </span> <span class="mu-i">ZIP IT!</span>
“Ready when you are, slick!” Announces the aforementioned ‘Red’ as she points her camera at the monitor! Stealing the <span class="mu-s">SWIVEL STOOL</span> before anyone else can nab it, you start with <span class="mu-s">LOG 1</span>!
‘<span class="mu-i">An Interdimensional Matter Displacement Device. I had my doubts when Hauser claimed to have built one, of course, but upon hearing he had acquired the design from what he claimed to be an Atlantean Research Base, well… my curiosity was piqued, to say the least.
Seeing the gate with my own eyes I’ll admit I felt another stroke of utter GENIUS welling up inside me! Yes, the device was akin to a Kindergartener building a baking soda and vinegar volcano, but who was I to refuse?
A fully-stocked lab staffed with a full complement of dutiful minions is a far cry from that Egyptian prison cell. I began work immediately, of course–the first stop was what one of my not-so-subservient drones referred to as a ‘neighboring dimension’ boasting ‘rich and promising flora and fauna’.
How utterly STERILE his description was! Like describing the ocean as a ‘big puddle’! I led the first survey team myself and was utterly enthralled by what I saw: vines bigger than redwoods towering above in vast canopies! Plants emitting scents no human nose has ever sampled! Vast land masses floating through a nigh-infinite abyss like pollen through the air!
Hauser was not impressed at first–’too swampy for rich minerals’, he claimed! ‘Too dangerous’, he claimed! Idiotic piggy bank. Only after I enticed him with the prospect of new medicines and treatments these alien plants and animals could provide did he relent…
I’m leading the next expedition myself… that abhorrent Australian has volunteered himself as well. The environment is stable enough to establish an outpost–once the drones are finished with that we’ll be able to get some REAL work done!
A new, unspoiled dimension ripe for the picking… I think I’ll name it after myself…</span>’
>CONTD.
