>>5880256>>5880277>DUNGEONS AND DRAGONSHad you ripped a foetus from its bleeding caul and wailing mother, stamped gleefully upon its head and dandled the desecrated corpse whilst showering vomit upon the remains, this would have represented a lesser visual atrocity when compared against the most reviled and loathsome befoulment, the cinematic mutilation and the bloated pustule of putrefaction that is the most conceivably unimaginative pinnacle of misadventure that embodies the recent Dungeons and Dragons film.
Do you want a farcical fantasy comedy? Watch Your Highness (2011) Do you want some lighthearted magical storytelling? Stardust (2007) Do you even want to see an adaptation of intellectual property that features some impressive sorcery special fx, CGI and with some poignant emotional moments / heightened moral conflict? Even Warcraft (2016) can do this... But the recent Dungeons and Dragons film is far worse than stamping on a dead foetus. You, as the viewing audience, are stricken and paralysed with gruesome cringe horror - you are left far more terrified and helpless than even a vomit-smeared dying infant. What is happening? What am I seeing? What words are being uttered? What unnatural and dread compulsion has animated these moving flesh orifices, that bear the apparent shapes and proportions of mortal, living beings, yet appear to gesture and mouth these nightmarish enactments that to any ordinary human would cause instantaneous agonising death-spasms, mortification inflicted from the shame of self-recognition at these excruciatingly disfigured indignities? You shriek with desperation and despair, yet the animated meat puppets cannot hear or respond to your pleading. They continue with masochistic perseverance in their rite of theatrical torture for 134 minutes. Even after it is over, the psychological scars linger. The trauma is indelible. Even eye-gouging offers no relief... for with a shuddering realisation of lurid horror, you know in your blindness that somewhere... in the darkness... the film is still there, waiting... it intends to be watched by another innocent, unsuspecting victim... The walls around you are notched with the bloody clawed trails of your sightless scrabbling hands. What malice of civilisation has delivered this madness, this affliction, this torment and ruination unto you?
