>>5837568You dwell on it.
They all joined looking for something. Trying to achieve something. Maybe your goals are compatible. Maybe they have other reasons. That doesn't matter. There's dreams that won't be fulfilled in the wake of those that didn't come back to these halls. And that haunts you.
You have dreams of your own. When you joined, you wanted to go in, grab the L3 position, and go back home to Germany. Back to your hometown. Or maybe someplace larger, but only just a little bit. You don't quite like the sterile white metal of Helsinki. You find the open air nice, for a while, but you miss being under the canopies of great old woods. When you get back to Germany, you wanna get a job at a bakery again, go back to those simpler days. Wake up in the royal blue twilight, walk through the dew-drenched grass, and follow a simple routine and be free in the afternoon. As you sip on your synthetic chocolate protein shake, you fantasize of coffee and buchteln.
Nothing's really changed with this dream. You still crave the fresh and natural air of Germany, the gusts on the wind. Only, you've begun to realize the scale of the task you have signed up for. You're constantly measuring the worth of things. The risks you take. The worth of your life. The lives of others.
Entering your sardine can of a pod you call “home,” you hit the lights, collapse into your bed, and finish the liquid meal before tossing it onto the floor. The pillow feels good in your arms in the darkness. Good company to have with these chilling thoughts.
On the precipice of this cliffside, those little fingers grasp at yours once again.
With your mind's eye, you see them. You imagine she'd be a girl, like you. Long hair, like your mom. The prettiest eyes. An angel's smile.
There is something between you and her. Things both human and not. They would stand in your way.
And if you let them stand in the way, you let them take that dream of yours. You let them take her. You let them <span class="mu-i">kill</span> her. Though she not yet live in the flesh, she lives in your mind. And your defeat, defeat of the mind or of your body, would mean she would be trapped there. A soul without a body, forever.
You can't let them do that. You won't let anyone kill her. There is no price too steep to pay for her. The wet pillow stops your hand from retracing that motion you learned today, but you do it in your head. You part the tide of monsters and men with a vorpal snicker-snack and to take that soft little hand and lead her out of this place. To someplace better. Back to that warm German hamlet you once knew.
In total silence, sacred silence, you cradle the child that you will have one day. But not today.
<span class="mu-b">The world has set a price on your unborn child's body; a pound of flesh. Though the gods never asked for this, you will gladly pay it.</span>
<span class="mu-b"><span class="mu-s">Manifest</span> temporarily unlocked.</span>
