>>5759717‘<span class="mu-i">I found out by accident the other day-was analyzing one of the parasite samples when a drop of sauce from the sandwich I ate for lunch fell from my beard: Salami and provolone… with GARLIC AIOLI sauce! The sample visibly RECOILED from the scent and, in its haste to escape, got some of it on its skin!</span>’
A few lines are smudged beyond recognition.
‘<span class="mu-i">rning! Smoking! When Professor Bertruger came to investigate I fessed up immediately… and she wasn’t even mad! Quite the opposite, actually–she said to meet by the HYDRO POWER PLANT after lights out tonight! AND to bring my notes! Sure, she’s a little unhinged, but I bet she’s a tiger in the sack! All crazy chicks are! Anyways, I’m writing this down so that proper credit is given to the discoverer of the parasite cure: TIMOTHY P-</span>’
The text is illegible beyond there, but as you finish reading the notebook aloud, Pepper’s eyes are lit up like Christmas Trees!
“<span class="mu-s">DIESEL!</span>” She exclaims as she excitedly snatches your hands up in hers, “Th-the <span class="mu-s">PIZZA!</span> If you and Raj eat it, you-”
“Wait, wait, hold on…” Groans Chuck as confusion clouds his stern expression, “What’s happening?”
“Raj and Diesel are getting <span class="mu-i">CURED</span>, is what’s happening!” Boasts Pepper as she leans on your shoulder with a smug grin on her face! “That pizza’s got enough garlic in it to kill a gorilla… and sandcrab here totally grabbed a few slices to eat later!”
“Woah, really!?” Sputters Raj in a mixture of excitement and relief, “That’s… that’s awesome, bro! Perfect timing, too–it’s getting <span class="mu-i">really</span> hard to keep this… this <span class="mu-i">ANGER</span> down, y’know!?”
“Get as angry and emotional as you want, Raj!” Chirps Pepper as she gives his shoulder a reassuring slap, “Because Diesel’s got the cure! What say we dish it out, huh? We could all use some… <span class="mu-i">PIZZA MIND!</span> Man, what a great name for an Italian restaurant!”
You feel your hands start to tremble at your sides as you realize what just happened.
<span class="mu-i">SHIT</span>.
>ROLL 1d100-6(+4 FRIENDS NEARBY! -10 FUUUUUUUCK!) TO NOT FLIP OUT! BEST OF 3! 