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The burns don’t help your opponent much–as Smythe’s skins bubbles and boils thanks to the booze-augmented flames, he appears to grow even <span class="mu-i">more</span> monstrous in appearance! Worms spread underneath his mottled skin as scaly growths rush to protect against the flames warping Smythe’s flesh, muscles and bone into something… <span class="mu-i">humanesque</span>!
Thankfully you don’t quite give a shit. Ignoring his snarls and hisses, you rush his prone form with your <span class="mu-s">WRIST WHIP</span> extended at your side and prepare to flip his ass like a burnt pizza! Pouncing at you just like you predicted, your opponent is once again taken off-guard when you <span class="mu-i">advance</span> rather than retreat!
Sliding below the blazing bushranger, you launch him skyward with a mighty kick and follow up by stabbing your <span class="mu-s">WRIST WHIP</span> into his chest! The annelidesque appendage spins like a drill and digs deep into Smythe’s bulky scaly chest as it lifts him upwards sending chunks of still-burning flesh flying across the mountaintop like a grim firework!
All eyes are on you now… even those of the security goons that haven’t been pummeled into bruise-covered coma victims yet!
“<span class="mu-s">HERE IT COMES!</span>” Hollers Pepper as she snatches Raj’s <span class="mu-s">PHONE</span> out of his pocket to snap a picture, “<span class="mu-s">HIS ULTIMATE ATTACK!</span>”
“<span class="mu-s">AW JEEZ, I FELT DAT’ BEFORE!</span>” Adds Rodney as he continues to rub uncooked pizza dough all over a security guard’s face, “<span class="mu-s">THAT ONE HURTS! A LOT!</span>”
Bile and ooze is flung from Smythe’s dazed, toothy maw as he continues to rocket skyward like a Merry-Go-Round gone mad! Just when you think you’ve reached an optimal height, you hear the disembodied words of your Master in your rage-addled head…
“<span class="mu-i">Remember, Dieselchik,</span>” She purrs as you can almost feel the cigarette smoke tickling your nostrils, “<span class="mu-i">Don’t ever be usink zee ULTIMATE ATTACK lightlys… unlessink you are impressink zee ladies… or eet weel look REALLY cool…</span>”
Master, you mutter under your breath, you <span class="mu-i">ARE</span> gonna impress ladies… and it’s gonna look <span class="mu-i">REALLY</span> cool!
With one last smirk, you feel something click inside your wrist… and like a messed up-looking tape measure you’re <span class="mu-i">YANKED</span> upwards to meet Smythe’s dizzy form!
Rocketing towards your target like a Shithead-Seeking Missile, you bring your head back for one more decisive headbutt! If Smythe can see what you’re planning he doesn’t do anything to stop it! The whole mountain is illuminated by a crack of lightning just as your forehead crashes into his face, and as your opponent goes limp from your mighty blow you grab onto his comatose body and ride it down to the helipad in a <span class="mu-s">PILEDRIVER</span> to end all <span class="mu-s">PILEDRIVERS!</span>
An unintelligible gurgle escapes from Smythe’s black and blue lips… That’s right, bitch, it’s happening!
The stormy air stings your eyes as you fall with the rain towards the ground like a garlic-scented meteor!
>CONTD.
