You awake to blinding light.

"HELLO. IT IS ME, A GOD. NOT THE UPPERCASE G ONE THOUGH, I'M SORT OF MIDDLE MANAGEMENT. HI."

You offer a wave to the light, and notice that you're floating.

"YES, YOU ARE DEAD. MAYBE JOINING THAT HOT DOG EATING CONTEST WAS A BAD IDEA. YOU DID NOT INHERIT YOUR MOTHER'S WEINER-SLURPING SKILLS. HA. HA. HA."

You frown at the light for it's immature jab at your mother.

"DON'T BE A PUSSY, I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU. REMEMBER YOUR JAPANESE ISEKAI? YEAH, WE'RE GONNA DO THAT. YOU'RE GONNA BE A GREAT HER-"

You want a farm.

"HUH?"

You want a large plot of land, seeds, and eventually a tradwife who will make you dinner barefoot in your kitchen.

"WHY ARE YOU DESCRIBING THIS IN SUCH A FAGGY WAY?"

:(

"FINE. YOU GET THE LAND AND SEEDS, BUT I'M NOT GIVING YOU A WOMAN YOU FUCKING INCEL. LEARN TO TALK TO ONE."

And thus, you knew no more. Until you did, waking up face-down in the dirt.

Where did you find yourself?

>A grassy field, with a walled city in the distance.

>A thick forest, with a little river flowing next to you

>Face down in an alleyway, clutching a small note in your hand.