You are Argentinian who sees himself as an Italian but speaks only Spanish.

<span class="mu-i">You are just Argentinian, Otto, forget this Italian stuff</span> your best friend says.
<span class="mu-b"><span class="mu-i">My paternal and maternal bloodlines dare to disagree, Poncho. Methodically, patiently, placidly, contentedly, I have successfully traced them back to Tuscany, you rootless mutt!</span></span> you have started disliking him since he came out as gay.
<span class="mu-i">Your name is Otto.</span>
<span class="mu-b"><span class="mu-i">Ah, Tuscany! Old country, home...</span></span>
<span class="mu-i">Your name is Otto, Otto.</span>
<span class="mu-b"><span class="mu-i">My parents saw themselves as Schleswig-Holsteiners but I refuse to bow down to anything non-Italian!</span></span>

...gay silence...

You are also obsessed with some French hussar that was obsessed with dying at 30. Now you are kind of obsessed with dying at 25, can't let the French win. Your pompousness, swaggering and boastfulness are also your best allies in making that obsession come true. It is the Italian blood in your veins!!!

Currently you are in a gay bar. Not Italian, just an Argentinian gay bar. Poncho, your gay best friend, was adamant of bringing you here. He believes that you are secretly gay too.

<span class="mu-i">It is the Italian blood in your veins</span> he said the other day.

You are staring at the gay wall and want to break the gay silence between you and your gay best friend.

>"Poncho, are you grooming me?"
>"Nothing Italian is gay..." you say mysteriously.
>the same way Mussolini's royal guard came out with rusty rifles at The Inspection of 1939, my affection for you and your gayness has rusted like a their long rifle barrels [strike a pose, roll dice+1d2 for one that is gay or non-gay]
>punch Poncho in the face to make sure that you have that dog in you [and that you are not gay]