Magnus... I need you to get rid of my porn collection... Magazines, simultronic, some security footage I bought on the black market. There are snuff films in there, Magnus. If Elita 1 sees all the pictures I took of her feet while she was sleeping... It's all in the box in the basement labelled "PF Pictures"... Before you ask: yes, there are Protoform pictures in there, they're just not of you... Actually, they're a part of the collection, but that doesn't matter now... You've gotta do this for me, Magnus. You've got to destroy my porn stash... And I mean DESTROY that shit... Seriously, the hentai alone is enough to get a man put away... Hentai is the Japanese word for "pervert", little brother, and that's what I am... That's what your bro Optimus is... All the fat globs of Matrix energy I've wasted opening my Matrix to Predstiality and Univore over the years... And I'm a strong ejaculator, Magnus... I'm as sterile as Ratchet's surgery room, but splurge like a cyber geyser every time... I think part of the thrill was always seeing if I could get any of it in my mouth... The first time I did it was a complete accident, but the taste, Magnus... The taste was unlike anything I had ever experienced before... I started to crave it... It was like a drug to me... And that's coming from a guy who did a lot of Syk in the past century... Usually off of the diode of some Nucleoned out Camien who me and the boys would kill for sport later... I actually have some footage of that in my porn collection... Which, again, you REALLY need to get rid of. I cannot overstate the importance of wiping that slag from the face of Cybertron. Okay, what else, what else? Oh, you can have the slice of Energon from Elita 1's birthday that I've been saving... I mean, I took a bite out of it, but it's not like I have Scraplets or anything... Wait... Do Matrix Chambers count? Never mind, I'm dying now... In summation: I pass on the Matrix, till all are one, burn my porn, eat my Energon... Bleh...
