>>45000130Also to add something to this (sorry, I just want to get it all out), the more time that passes, the more my mother forgives my ex-friends. Back then the whole situation was so awful it caused her to have a sudden increase in blood pressure which remains with her to this day. For context, some of the things my abuser said were things like I was the one that tried to molest them, or that I secretly thought a gay friend of mine "was a fucking faggot and I hope you get aids", or to another friend that I "hope you get a rape pregnancy that ruins your life", among several other things like this, and it went on both irl and online for years, to the point I considered changing my name. These were people I literally knew since I was 5 and blindly believed that person without even asking me, the one they should know was their close friend, and made my life unbearable. Some would even stand outside my home and jeer at me for the following months.
But despite all this, my mother's like "we should write and ask how they're doing!" and sometimes she does by herself, or follows them on IG and tells me "look how great J is doing, makes me so proud!", "look, G has a new business, hope it goes well!", "why don't you write to D, it'd be so sweet!" and.. no. No. I don't want anything to do with those people, and she looks at me like I'm the monster who doesn't want to give them a chance. A chance? They not only never listened to "their friend", they harassed me to the point I had to abruptly drop school and lock myself at home out of fear for so long. I hate that she's "warming up" to them out of nowhere, it makes me sick actually.
I just want every single memory from that time to go away, to stop my mother from looking at their IGs and talking about their lives all the time, to stop telling me to talk to them, to stop having these dreams, I just want to forget it all even happened and to live my life, I'm tired.
I'm very sorry for the rant..
