Quoted By:
I had a really shit upbringing, my dad was abusive as fuck and I dealt with it by lying to him and running and hiding to avoid getting beat. I'm 24 now and am an incredibly flighty person. I cannot handle getting yelled at or chastised in any capacity. I get anxious when I hear roommates walking around my door because it takes me back to the times my dad would bust in my room with a belt. I cannot take any sort of confrontation and fold like a chair if people get even moderately upset with me. I used to admin a discord and when people were upset with one another and came to me, I'd lie and deceive and play both sides so both parties would feel like they "won" and they'd leave me alone.
The worst thing about this is because I can't deal with any sort of situation and coped by running, I've ghosted so many people over the years over minor disagreements or whatever. I ghosted that discord too. This is directly affecting my line of work too but I feel if I specify as to why, I'll be too anxious to check any replies.
I don't know what to do, this habit is actively ruining my life but I'm too poor to afford therapy. If I keep this up for a few months I'll likely be homeless.