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>be me, security guard for Lumiose Tower
>minding my own business and doing my job, occasionally telling delinquents to fuck off with my Throh and Sawk partners
>some little shit that’s barely out of diapers shows up and demands a battle
>fucker looked no older than 10, and he dressed like it too
>think to myself, provided he doesn’t have any psychic fuckery or Arceus forbid, birds, this should be a cake walk
>the walking fetus proceeds to throw out a FUCKING SALAMENCE
>before I even get a chance to blink, the bastard does some weird shit with a bracelet, and the Salamence has a rocky shell cover it, light peeking through the cracks
>what emerges is unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and it looked exceptionally pissed
>the thing had only one wing, huge and crescent shaped, which it immediately shot into the air with, screaming like a Loudred all the way
>next thing I know, all the buildings taller than 5 stories just kinda slid apart like someone used a gigantic Rotom Mower on it, including Lumiose Tower
>immediately got fired, and I can’t even go home, thanks to my 8th floor apartment currently lying on its side a couple of blocks away
The fuck? I thought Sycamore’s “Mega Evolution” shit was some crackpot garbage used to swindle money from the government? Who the fuck gave this shit to kids?
