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Sprigatito Sam sounds like a nice name to be remembered by. If anons are willing to use it that is.
I remember when I first used 4chan I was so excited people responded so quickly. It was nice to hear back answers to questions I had and to participate in Omegle raids. I was so cringeworthy when I first joined though, as I even put a 4chan logo on my middle school notebook to show how edgy I was. It was embarrassing looking back at it, but at least I was unabashedly myself.
Later on, the first time I ever got into a relationship, I was so excited to have found a fellow shitposter. He was in tech too, so he’d teach me all about secret online communities. I never got to go to DEFCON with him, but we shared local adventures together eating out and going places. I miss getting held by him as I got sleepy.
After he needed to break up due to his job, I dated around but never found anyone who really got me or was interested in the Internet and Pokémon like I was.
I kissed and slept with many men among those years, but rarely ever let someone else inside me, as that closeness never felt earned.
Eventually the intimacy of a relationship was lost with me, as I never found anyone I felt connected to. I’ve longed for a mutual attraction for several years now, wanting back that high I first had in love. I didn’t know how lucky I was, and I hate myself for not being more stubborn on staying together.
I fantasized about being the perfect partner for someone else and worked endlessly to get there. I took care of myself, pursued a prestigious career, and sought potential partners for the longest time.
But now I feel like a shell of my former self after my life started falling apart when I couldn’t attend college anymore. I don’t think I could bear to live a normal life, as I’d always be thinking about what could have been.
