>>53562586>The Gus part was added last minuteIt was still a pretty good plot, though. It's nice to see him getting out and about. I do agree that the plan was a little hard to follow, but I managed to get the jist of it.
>I hope it wasn't too badNot at all - his flaws make the story more interesting, and it would be worse off for their lack.
I only describe it as "infuriating" in the same way that dramatic irony is: the audience knows that Lliam's wish to take a break is perfectly reasonable, and want for him to feel the same way.>hopefully that part wasn't confusingIt wasn't.
>I wasn't confident on Nick's dialogues thoughPersonally, I think you wrote them well (and an assistant I roped in to double-check did as well) - so no problems here!>>53562623 There are only a few possibilities for who his partner could be based on the description of his abilities, and you narrowed it down to a single evo-line based on your specific word choice, I think.
Lady Marigold made me think of one specific evo-line, but considering that wands are a general thing in PMD, I'm far less confident in my assumption there.
You mentioned that Lliam isn't his real name, right? (or am I misremembering that?) (Unless Lliam is just an alias he adopted upon entering the PMD world,) is it perchance based on a flower? 