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I've feel like I've lost track with life. I feel like my life is like my usual draw in any game of cards, so bad that I might as well concede because I can do nothing. White, Male, Canadian, Christian, Legally mentally retarded, Straight. I'm fucked on all accounts of being able to do anything.
I can't find work because despite sending my resumes everywhere in my town, despite getting help from a program that will cover half my wage... The only people who bothered to call me this year would only do so if I took the shitty ass jab or was someone who talked shit about my sister the entire time I was working there because she worked for them last year.
I started drinking and doing edibles to make myself feel better about myself because everyone else in my family is near some sort of breaking point. My brother is waiting for spring to leave for work, so he is mooching off my dad without paying rent or doing many chores. My sisters all got work since they went into the job force as soon as they all finished school, but we got loads of drama there. I went into College, but had to freeze that thanks to COVID hitting and online classes for my last two subjects were so terrible and my school wouldn't allow me to meet with someone for help with it because of some bullshit.
The only thing keeping me together from offing myself is because suicide is for losers who fetishize their existence on light blue, white and pink faggotry and demand the world revolve around them and their degeneracy that they get mad.
