Quoted By:
Raichu.
I was going to spoil this but fuck it.
As far as "loving" someone. I used to have this massive crush on this girl back in my high school days. We weren't even a couple and I used to do things for her which I thought were sweet, but now that I look back on was cringey as fuck. I personally blame it on autism.
I remember spending an unhealthy time thinking about her, and spending time around her whenever I had the chance. Til' the point where I starting abusing my own friendships. I wrote a song for her, when at the time my singing voice was trash and still developing. (The song itself, imo still holds up well.) I used to buy her school lunch, because most of the time she didn't have the money to pay for her lunch. I even got her things for Valentine's day and Christmas for two years straight, hell I even drew a portrait of her that took me hours to complete. I did all of this for her because of the fact I had a strong, deep attraction towards her. I was there when no one else was, she knew she could talk to me about anything when she needed, and we talked a lot. (She was very depressed at the time because of out of school and mental issues.) Hell I even turned down advances from other girls at the time, because I only wanted her.
But it stung a lot the day she told me she only saw me as friend. At first, I took it alright but then, I got angry because once I realized all of the things I did for her, and she knew that I wanted to be with her because I told her that I did numerous of times. I slowly stopped talking to her over time, and avoided her as much as I could. I remember I sperged out and the last thing I told her was, "I hope she choked on big dick and die."
But now that I look back on it, I understand that she didn't see my advances as an act of romantic favors, but rather as friendly gestures, something a true friend would do. Now I understand that I was the selfish one, in that relationship.
