>>53496031I'm glad the Chespin don't stop. I like your stories.
Chespin's a well-written character with believable fears and actions, and his friendship and interactions with Wooper are always enjoyable to read. I like the drama/conflict between them in this story, and the way Chespin works up courage to help him.
I don't know what he ate during the fight, but his berserker rage was interesting to see. Quite a change from his regular personality.
I think the story's pacing is good--it's concise, gives sufficient detail, and doesn't drag on.
Also, you're doing a nice job of making Wooper not seem OP, like we discussed recently. He's frail and rushes into danger, so he has reasonable flaws.
>Team CozyThat's super cute. I love that team name.
>Please don't let the next adventure involve bugs or iceinb4 the next mission involves Frosmoth
Also, like we talked about last time, I'll bring up some examples of grammar mistakes I spotted.
This is present tense but the rest of the section is past tense:
>I let out one final scream as the beams strike meSome comma splices, like:
>Wooper's my best friend, we've done practically everything together since we've met!>I still can't fight very well, I don't have enough items to make up for this!Some misspellings, like:
>I give thee blanket a feel>Look whose backSome missing commas in speech tags:
>Trying not to laugh, I say “Don't forgetAnd you're still handling new lines inconsistently. Sometimes you hit Enter once, sometimes twice. So, just keep an eye on that.
Anyway, these mistakes are all rather minor, which is good. Overall, another enjoyable story. Keep up the great work!
>>53496249>Aww Booker looks so cute there~Thanks!
>>53498117Nice little story. Wonder what shenanigans she and Linoone will get up to.
>>53498218>>53498829What's wrong with them?
Aside from being ugly>>5350136299%. The other 1% is Linoone.
>>53501677His face is so adorable. I wanna pet him.
