>>54302618I read (and enjoyed) your story, Linoone-anon. You did a particularly good job describing locations and action, and dialogue was generally handled well too. I liked the overall plot and the twists along the way. Also, it was nice to finally see a whole story with Solid Linoone as the protagonist, since I always liked him as a character.
My main criticism is that there are many grammatical issues throughout the story. But considering you haven’t written much before, it definitely could’ve been worse. Just take the time to review grammar rules and the feedback your /lit/ friend gave you. In particular, watch out for comma splices and run-on sentences, make sure to end each sentence with punctuation, and review how to use quotes properly. Example:
>“I suppose you can call it a black op.” Said LliamShould be
>“I suppose you can call it a black op,” said LliamAlso, don’t put a space on the left side of a colon, and don’t put a space between a quotation mark and the quoted text. Examples of what I’m talking about:
>my secret name : Solid Linoone>“Next-generation special couriers? “Aside from the grammatical issues, the story was pretty good overall. I’m glad you decided to give writing a shot, and I hope you write more in the future!
>>54313581>how is everyone copingLack of any new official PMD content sucks, but here in the general, we’ve been making lots of original content to fill the void, so that dulls the pain. I still hope we get a new PMD someday, though.
>>54315559Fantastic art! The anatomy, colors, and lighting/shading all look great.
>Sneasel, Booker on radarAwesome! I’d love to see how you draw them in your style.
