>>16827119"Hmm....I think I have an idea, ma belle. I'll get him something that'll help with his inferior battling skills. I'll be back as soon as possible! l'honneur de scout!"
>"You better. You don't want to see Calem disappointed, he gets all depressed and emotional and it's annoying...Just make sure to hurry back! My cuntwebs need dusting!""I will, I will. Thank you for the help, I'll see you back home."
With that, the call ends, conveniently around the same time midnight strikes. And with midnight's arrival, the mall employees decide to fess up and open up the place to all the last-minute shoppers, campers, and people who generally like anything that's 80% off.
A bored, self-deprecating teenage employee steps out of the building, in front of a line of security guards with bats, "Alright guys... Here's the deal, EVERYONE get in an orderly, single-fashion line, we're gonna open the place up, run in, get what you want, and get the hell out okay? No problems in this place today, OKAY? Not like my life, OKAY?"
A bit cautious, he steps back, takes a deep breath, and unleashes the hellfire that is Christmas shopping.
A) RUN NIGGA RUUUUUUUUUUUUN IT'S LIKE A HORDE OF FUCKING TAUROS
B) Stay back and wait out the crowds, then there won't be "problems"!
C) Strategically take out anyone close with pepper spray.
