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CYOA: The Incredibly Unrelentingly Half-Assed Scrumptious Calem Christmas Special [Part 20]

!PM597lkh2g No.16825717 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Part 19: http://archive.foolz.us/vp/thread/16701913 +
http://archive.foolz.us/vp/thread/16793600
Chapter Directory: http://pastebin.com/sgnYBisD
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdNXpudo7P8
"You know, when they approached me earlier this morning while I was cleaning out Avaulgg's crevices of accumulating ice-gunk, it's justifiable why I got suspicious of them. No one just walks up to a jolly fat man and tells them that they're tasked with acting as a framing device."

"But uh, that's how things turn out, and I am in no way responsible for it."

Wulfric places his eggnog on the coffee table--his Avalugg--in front of him, the fireplace is lit and crackling, but the excess warmth is unnecessary given his own body heat.

Feeling rather content with himself, he takes out a book from the library of a shelf behind him, "So they walk up to me and they say: 'WE NEED A FAT FUCK TO NARRATE THIS SHIT SPECIAL.'--If you don't where I'm going with this, it's that I am the fat fuck."

"But maybe that's okay, no one else was going to do this, and I certainly have nothing to do with myself right now, so why not I said. Now here I am, with complimentary lodging in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, a cup of the world's worst beverage, and a bunch of stories about stupid people whom I've never met doing nothing but stupid things. Is that not the best way to spend the holidays?"

"Lug, lugg, Avalugg!" says the coffee table.