>>54144985Good work. It's nice to see the fluffy bros meeting guild members. The scene with
Cyndaquil was hilarious, as was the scene with the pond. Also, I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I enjoy the way you write these guys, and their differing personalities and behavior. They're really fun to read about.
However, I found it hard to tell who was talking sometimes, due to a lack of speech tags. I'd suggest explicitly stating who's speaking more often, especially at the start of a conversation. For example, you could've written the opening lines like:
>“...alright,” Gill said with a grin, “I’m keeping things in English from now on, promise.”>“You better,” Bill said flatly.Also, you keep putting commas after quotation marks, which is incorrect.
>“That’s not it”, Bill interjectsShould be
>“That’s not it,” Bill interjectsAnd don't use commas if there's a ! or ? at the end of the quote.
>“or is it hedgehog-like?”, Bill musesShould be
>“or is it hedgehog-like?” Bill musesDespite these issues, I enjoyed the story, and I look forward to seeing how the twins interact with the rest of the guild.
>>54150309Yeah, playing Orion reminded me of how beautiful the backgrounds and spritework are in Explorers.
>>54151395Bill looks so fluffy--and also annoyed. I like it.
>>54152038>>54152233kek, these are both great
I like the rest of your art in the thread as well, Topa-anon.
>>54152767Come to think of it, Natu would trigger Linoone's instincts too... but he can teleport, so he could escape easily.
>>54152821Well, I'm glad you decided to stop by again, Tybo! I think the other anons have good ideas. Seeing gameplay updates or new art is always nice, if you feel like playing or drawing.
>>54152896That's a funny idea for a drawing. Nice work.
>>54152939This is awesome! Good job conveying their characters, and even telling a bit of a story, with how ominous Dewott looks and how timid Toge looks.
