>>46813549>>46813555>>46813558>>46813559>>46813572>>46813584>>46813660I would give this an 8.75 out of 10. I love femdom erotica and this was actually really well written. You should write more! You touched pretty much every hot kink, although i wish there would've been a scene where she pegged you mercilessly to "break you in". I think you timed this
>>46814915scene really well. It was so powerful. It didn't even need the
immediate slap and "i didnt tell you to talk" afterward because you had already painted the picture of how far she'll go to make sure you remember your place throughout the whole writing (and a lot of femdom erotica doesn't touch base with that enough, yours did though). It could have just been her opening up even a little bit more as a human with one or two more lines, then a slow transition back into the dominant state. I think the pacing of the intro was pretty good. One thing I noticed was
that it seemed to just go from "story opening" to "you're my pet" within one or two sentences. Which is fine, because it's efficient. But with how good your intro was I was almost hoping for a more slow progression into her explaining what you will be for her. But it also does paint the picture of just how powerful she is. There was nothing you could say. Just instantly a losing position and you're forced to be her slave. You hit the kinks dead on throughout the whole thing. So perfect. That's really the bread and butter of the fanfic. All of the hot ones like chastity, pegging, feet, pet play, mommy, prejac, and so many more. You didn't overdo any of them it actually only left me craving more of most of them. Also the
transition to the bedroom felt a lot like a "climax" and was really well done. Whatever you lack in writing skills its made up for in just how kinky you are. And if you write a few more i'm sure you will start getting even better. It actually makes me want to write one of my own.