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>all this fuss because hack players and devs can't help but obsess over otherwise invisible numbers
The first time I accidentally EV trained was interesting, my Cloyster started gaining 4 or 5 stat points in defense every level and I thought that was fucking rad. I had no idea how that number = less damage, and I had no idea it came from the fact I happened to be grinding high level gravelers and onixes for the fast OHKOs.
It didn't really matter anyways. The layer of separation from code to player meant there was no concern about minmaxing.
Hack devs can't help themselves - decades of nerds grinding statcalcs and Smogon renders them incapable of using less than ALL EVs in important encounters.
Players can't help themselves - they feel like they NEED to maximize stats to answer devs adding computer-side advantages, due to this approach being normalized in online and challenge-oriented gameplay.
Quit relying on invisible systems that were my intended to be specifically targeted for grinding for minmaxers. Spread out EVs on NPCs, hell even randomize the distribution and just set a quantity pool. Favor good allocations on harder trainers (leaders, aces, elite four), and leave enough space for surprises when nerds try to use a calculator to win battles.
Build systems that discourage reading 100 page guides, with surprises but not fucking blowouts requiring specific solutions. It's really that easy. You don't need EVs/IVs, stop going out of your way to use them if it requires EVERYONE warps their gameplay to address their presence.