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I recently showed a friend some of the rape porn I drew, and told her I was commissioned to do it. But I drew it for myself. I have a hard pain/emotional trauma/emotional breakdown fetish centered around this one OC I made when I was 14, and I've written countless pages of smut about him. I play off the art to my friends by telling them that it's the character of a close Discord art buddy who has a ton of money to blow on commissioning me to draw fetish porn of his OC.