I'm probably autistic. Not in the "i'm bad at socialising and I'm too afraid to admit that it might just be my own incompetence, let alone go to a psychologist to have that confirmed." I've gone through the whole diagnostic process, and gotten a diagnosis that GPs and such seem to accept. Problem is, it's so shoddily put together that I can't pretend that it's particularly decisive. I saw one, maybe two people throughout the entire process, and the actual papers I got are barely 3 pages long, and the elements that aren't beaurocratic padding amount to nothing more than a glorified bullet point list riddled with errors.
That being said, even with all of the reasons I shouldn't trust it, it kind of makes sense. Getting a second diagnosis to confirm things isn't really an option, as it'll only get people wondering if I'm in denial and just desperately praying that I'm not autistic out of some fear of the label. Truth be told, I am somewhat scared of the diagnosis genuinely being nothing but hogwash - I've never been strange enough to fit with strange people, so a part of me believes that I'm just some socially incompetent dick who's desperate for the validation the label provides.
It's been over a year since I got the diagnosis, and I've not had any conversations about it. I've only told two very close friends - there are people who know about this shit that could probably help me out, but I've managed to estrange most of them before I got the diagnosis, and I don't want to bother people with what is nothing more than a glorified self-diagnosis, as I'm sure they've all had more than their fill of people who want in on the autism trend train. In addition, given my strong personality, I know that people will treat me very differently if they know about my situation, which I don't really want.
Some people I know have a chance of working out who I am based on the mon I posted, but I'm not sure how much I care at this point.
also fuck 2000 character limit
