ITT: Write a suicide note for a Pokemon or Pokemon character.

I've always been the last of the bunch, the slowest, the sluggish, the lethargic, the lazy, the dullest, the dumbest, the densest, the stupidest, the unproductive, the unpunctual, or whatever want to call it, of the bunch.

Trust me. I've heard them all.

I've seen dozens of Tallow, Eevee, and Weavile train, grow stronger, and ultimately win championships in the time it takes me to eat lunch.

I have been ridiculed by countless Pokemon. Even Wurmple, Azurill, and Togepi have the gall to say, "At least I'm not as slow as Slowpoke!" Before I even have the time to open my mouth in protest, they've already evolved and are walking circles around me.

Let me tell you all something right now. I have always been the last to act, the last to experience, the last to learn, and the last to feel emotion and love. It took me a fortnight just to finish this letter. But for once in my miserable life, I'll accomplish something long before anyone else does.

Goodbye.

>Slowpoke