>>31895350Take the part about them sharing a bedroom. There were so many more eventful things that could've been done with it. At least use the setting and have Lillie do just about anything with Sun. For some examples, just not being able to sleep and end up talking all night, which leads to them being tired the next day, Lillie showing her Pokemon that accidentally put them both to sleep or damage something in the room, or for a more extreme example, one of the beds "accidentally" becoming unusable. Use the setting in some way, at least.
I called it a missed opportunity because the setting added nothing. Especially on Sun's part. He just goes to sleep. They talked a bit, but that conversation could've taken place anywhere. Being in Sun's bedroom added nothing to it. In fact, it seemed like you were intentionally avoiding a few things, because they'd be cliche, like Sun walking in without knocking. Cliche is still better than nothing.
Lillie got into some situations, but they were completely unrelated to Sun, other than the dairy which, for some reason, she hasn't even read even after a few days, so it might as well have not happened. There were a lot of small events like this that overall added nothing to the story. The dairy, Sun walking in, Sun almost finding out about the dairy, Lillie leaving the milk for Sun, forgetting her clothes etc. It was to the point that at times, it felt like they weren't even living together. All the things they do affected only themselves, and the other one doesn't even notice anything out of ordinary.
Small details are nice, but when almost nothing happens yet we get so many small things, it feels disappointing to read. Each time any of these came up, I looked forward to seeing what will happen with this, but in the end, nothing happened. I get that you're trying to keep it unpredictable or something like that, but you're just getting the viewers' hopes up, only to disappoint them in process.
