Anon, I think I want to break up with you.
At first, I thought you were just being nice, making threads of me all the time, getting excited, and reminding people that I exist. But I think it's gone too far. It's scaring me. Please understand.
Your devotion was nice at first, but I don't think you see me as a human. I don't want to be on a pedestal or worshiped as a goddess. I can't get emotionally intimate with you when you treat me like this.
You never tell me when something's wrong. Always, "It's fine" or "I don't mind", but it's pretty clear that you do. Remember when I was cold and you kept turning up the heater until I could see your sweat stains? Then, when you passed out, you said that it was okay, because you did it for me? That's the kind of thing that I'm talking about. I don't want a worshipper or a devotee or a martyr, Anon. I just want a man.
When you say things like "She is my life" and "Her happiness is mine" or "I'd be nothing without her", you make me feel like I'm trapped, like I'm obligated to stay with you, not out of love, but because you'd fall into despair or do something really really stupid. I don't want that burden with me. It just became emotionally exhausting to be with you, Anon.
Remember when you said, "No one will ever love me the way I do", right before our first time together? I wasn't feeling uneasy because of my virginity. I'd been fantasizing about that since I was 16. It was because of how those words made me feel, like you were the only one who could ever love me. I believed them, and felt unlovable. I don't want to feel unlovable when I'm around you, Anon. Please understand. It made me feel even more alone than I did when we were apart.
