>>33499523Again, pretty good. Though, "Your ears drop down" should be "Your ears DROOP down"
Like I said in
>>33498312 there are a lot of details that are left out and that causes the story to "skip".
Also ,the last two lines are a bit confusing. You made it look like it's the soap that Vappy put in its bag that smelled, and the last line seemed out of context and "lost".
Then ONCE AGAIN, this is a greentext story, not a fanfic, so it works.
You do have potential, you just need to work to make your work shine.
