>>33613748Emulating a gym leader makes sense, yeah, that's a good start. Spencer's father doesn't have to go on a business trip to Hoenn to get a Sableye, you can fudge spawns a little bit. It's not like that's an egregious error or anything, just saying, a Sableye in Johto isn't preposterous.
So the dad goes on a business trip, and later, goes to help research a cure for the vague sickness (just say TB or cancer or something man don't give her anime mom disease.) What's the father's job, then. It comes up twice now in the story, it ought to be defined. Is he a doctor, and the business trip was some sort of medical convention? Is he a businessman that threw himself into the medical field in a desperate, misguided attempt to help? Pick something, is all. Something that would preferably allow the dad to realistically transition into disease research. A medical professional or at least some sort of scientist.
Naming the Gastly Ping after a specific NPC is both commendable and excessive. It's a nice detail, but you don't have to marry yourself to the series so strongly. You can take artistic liberties, to an extent. Still, it's neat.
Good motivation. Good concept. This is shaping up well.
Hanging out with the dead for so long means he's shit at dealing with the living, okay, okay. A good enough reason for his mild autism. Not sure if a ghosty influence would make him blunt so much as it would make him speak in riddles or something, but, fuck it, that's still good. Honest and too honest without being meanspirited, that's a good trait that doubles as a flaw.
Naming the Yamask Hazel is pretty morbid. Just don't actually have the Yamask turn out to be his mom. That'll be super cheap and hackey.
Overall, this is pretty good, especially for a first draft. Keep working on it. Don't apologize. Don't be afraid to catch Pokemon that aren't strictly ghost types, but still have a relation to the supernatural or afterlife in some way. Or just a Pokemon he meets and likes.
