>>349898547 years old. Living in Vegas in a shit apartment because my parents are drop outs and they didn't hit their stride until long after. I remember that apartment. It had rats. would flood over. We'd hear gunshots, or as mom would call it, "fireworks without a flash." Pokémon was my escape. Around 8ish. First the cards. Then the show. Then I somehow managed to get a gameboy despite money being so tight. It worked out though. Pokémon was my escape and eventually distraction. Parents worked hard. They own a home now. Cars. 3 kids. One sent to college. American dream. Happy ending? Right.
Now at 29, I sit here at a coffee shop. Wondering where my next move will be. I scroll. I scroll. Funny picture. Comment here. Horrah for the 4th channel. My life: in a daze. Drowning in debt. Mediocre throughout and dauntless in my future despite that fact.
My 3DS sits next to me. I am brought back to 10. Pokémon is again my escape. All the hours spent breeding. Battling online. In the tower after game. Replaying old game after game. All in pursuit of that childhood high that never comes.
I was happiest then. The grime and crime didn't matter to a 10 year old with a Gameboy and a holographic Starmie. I'm safe now. Pokémon is in 3D. I have 4chan to share these thoughts. to share in Pokémon with strangers. I can get drunk or high and play games. I can drive to meet ups. I can fuck fellow fans. I can indulge myself in writing a post no one will read or care about. I CAN DO ANYTHING (with Pokémon). I am no longer bound by 10. and yet, that 10 year old remains ever more mirthful, blessed to remain on that pedestal of childhood wonder.
I'll keep playing though. I have to. I love pocket monsters. 22 years later and that hasn't changed. I will never stop. No one will. That is our collective fate. to chase a high that never comes. to hope for distraction rather than escape.
