>>40983241Hard, it's not as noticeable as it is for the others that have it or as the movies/books like to portray it. Every 6 or 7 months (give or take, a lot sooner if I go through some highly stressful shit, like almost getting shot/dying) my overall mentality changes and I become younger and emotional or older and distant. I'm me, still me, the same person that I was half a year ago, but if I look at my actions? at the things I said or did back then? it feels like I was someone completely different, and most of the time I can't remember half of it. I have to pretend I'm an airhead or like I remember stuff I don't so my parents/friends don't get mad at me. I got my heart broken in July by who I thought was my soulmate, I'm still waiting to 'switch' back so I can finally cry and feel miserable about it, right now the only emotion I can expel is some mild annoyance over this Dexit shit.
Therapy helps, a lot, but is not a cure and it'll never be.
>systemsBeing a system is a way to keep things tidy and in as much order as you can, helps too, but it's not the same as being 'whole' the way normal people are, and living knowing that is a heavy burden in itself. Having everyone 'finally working together' the way a system does is probably the endgoal for a lot of people, and not everyone can reach it. It really fucking sucks, but childhood is when you're being molded, and if someone fucks with that then the damage is often permanent, whether you can carry a normal life or not usually depends on how much damage was done and what kind of environment you grew up with.
