>>45112129Several people think I am, because I'm smart and socially awkward but no. I don't show any of the actual telltale symptoms, no compulsive behavior, no obsessive interests (or any passionate interests. or any passion at all), no repetition, self-stimming, or tics, was an early and verbose talker (until that stopped being bragworthy and they started ignoring and shushing me, then I got a lot, lot more reserved), often too much empathy, acutely aware of other's emotions and motives I just don't always act it.
No, I'm fucked up because of a lot of my early life was "be quiet your parents are working" isolation, inheriting my mom's anxiety, and then probably some limbic brain damage from a bad fever when I was 9 but most certainly also from prolonged stress and depression. Autism might fuck with your emotional expression but you know what it doesn't do? Smell and memory loss.
Those together are responsible for most of my wordstumbling, introversion, deadpan affect, and inappropriate or peculiar behavior. That plus a personal dedication to honesty, even when inconvenient, also a product of my strict puritanical parenting, but something I still believe in because lying perpetuate problems.
But yeah no, actual autism? clean as a whistle. Just damaged enough it sometimes confuses normies.
