>Be me
>A budding Pokémon trainer
>Get a Slowpoke from Professor Oak
>Excited to have my first Pokémon
>Slowpoke has a vacant expression, drool slowly dripping
>"Come on, Slowpoke! Let's go on an >adventure!"
>Slowpoke barely moves, stares at a tree for hours
>Decide to name him "Sloth"
>Sloth and I go on our journey
>Encounter wild Pidgey
>I throw a Poké Ball, catch it in one shot
>Feel like a Pokémon master
>Sloth still staring at the same tree
>Weeks pass, challenge Gym Leaders
>Sloth hasn't moved an inch
>Pidgey evolves into Pidgeotto, then Pidgeot
>My team is stacked, badges piling up
>Sloth still hasn't budged
>Reach the Pokémon League
>Elite Four awaits
>Sloth decides it's time to move
>Starts walking toward the League
>In slow motion
>Elite Four watching in disbelief
>Takes Sloth a week to reach the entrance
>Finally, face off against Elite Four
>Sloth versus Lorelei
>She sends out Lapras
>Sloth uses Yawn
>Lapras falls asleep
>Slowpoke Steve's one and only move
>Battle lasts a week, Lapras snoozing
>Eventually, Sloth wins by default
>Slowly make my way through the Elite Four
>Become Champion
>Sloth named Champion by default
>Pokémon League in shock
>Sloth's vacant expression is now legendary
>Decide to retire as Champion
>Sloth still staring at the same tree
>MFW I'm a Champion trainer with the world's slowest Slowpoke
