>>45677841Introspective Late Night Peep, you're my favorite peep. Your heart is beautiful, kind and caring. While it might not apply to everyone, it will probably help out people who are neurodivergent.
You are entirely right. One has to first look inwards before they can save themselves. I'm guilty of drowning out my own introspection in the past with information and distractions from facing my problems, most of my life was spent running away from my family issues, being too afraid to think because thinking for myself was scary, dealing with people was scary, I pushed away so many people because it was comfortable being alone, or at least I thought that was true at the time. I didn't want to confront my issues, just run from them.
First, what helps is to learn to give yourself space, away from distractions, preferably in nature. Giving yourself the space to confront your own thoughts, to think about what you could do better, to think about your mistakes and not regret them, but learn from them, that's what's needed. We didn't have so many easy points of access to getting entertained/our dopamine in times past, so humans in general have had to spend a lot of time thinking and reflecting in the silence of the world around them.
The second thing that helps is having a greater goal to work towards, something to aspire towards, something that shapes what you want to do and who you want to be in the world. This goal should be something that matters to you, and accomplishing it would give you fulfillment, but the real value of it isn't even necessarily the goal itself, but the lessons you learn on the journey towards it, the experiences you have, the people you meet along the way, and what comes from it with the third point.
Third, one has to learn to show themselves kindness. Your mistakes are not the culmination of who you are. Your mistakes are a part of you, and they should be remembered so that you can learn from them, and do better. Instead one should have the kindness to appreciate the good things you have accomplished, however small. Did you build a new positive routine, or kill an old habit? If so, love yourself for it. Did you help someone today? Yes? Then learn to be proud of that moment. Are you making good progress, step by step, on your journey towards your central goal? If so, be proud of each step. The difference between those who are successful in life and those who aren't is their perspective; the successful fail, and they keep going, the failure ruminates on their mistakes or gives in without trying or even blaming their failure. People laugh when a successful businessman has a list of failed businesses, but they just kept going, failure after failure, working towards their next success. “The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.”
The last thing is to accept help when people are willing to give it, but as you point out, be wary of becoming dependent, for various reasons. There is kindness out there from many people, and you shouldn't scoff at the idea that it's possible someone might be kind to you just because you've had bad experiences in the past. But you should also keep in mind that there are people who want to and will take advantage of you. Learn to find the people you can trust to be good, by mutually understanding them and their motivations. In some cases, someone's motivation might seem shallow at first, like the desire for wealth, but you can also use that to understand them: their motive is simple, so it's easy to know how they could best work with you in your life mutually.
