>>22675386I've had at least 3 therapists in my life and absolutely none of them could help. They all say some dumb shit like "just try to think of different things" or "you can control these scenarios, try to make amends with these people in the fantasy." They don't understand anything, if I could control these thoughts I wouldn't have them. They say if I can't control my own thoughts then there's something wrong with me but if I could control all my thoughts I'd have no fucking personality I'd have fucking nothing I can't even begin to imagine how boring my life would be if there was no element of randomness. I vividly remember one of them said that "the reason you can't control your thoughts is because you aren't confident in yourself" no bitch shut the fuck up I am completely confident in my ability to control myself, I don't want to be near guns or have weapons because it'd just trigger more of those thoughts and I'd spend even more time just getting over them, it is a waste of my time and it's faster and easier to just associate as little as possible with the things that trigger these invasive thoughts. They are not dangerous and I am not dangerous, I simply want to be rid of the because they are a waste of my time and cause me needless stress. It's the same feeling as when I see senseless violence in movies, it just stresses me out to think about those scenarios even if they're on screen I am very empathetic I'm not a psycho. Sometimes people here talk about torturing Pink Cat and I start crying because of the senseless cruelty, there is nothing that makes me sadder than unwarranted violence. Whenever they do the gag in movies where a kid is holding an ice cream cone and one of the scoops of ice cream fall off I start crying it's just so fucking sad how is that a comedic moment that kid was probably hyped to have a tasty ice cream and it just falls on the ground I'd be weeping dude. People don't understand and therapists especially don't understand, I just want people to be happy I want to spread joy to the world but the world is unwilling to receive it and it seems like huge swaths of people enjoy watching bad things happen to people it drives me to imagine violence and how I want to force every single child to watch a mandatory execution in gradeschool to understand what should happen if they actively try to make other peoples lives worse.